adrenaline junkie

[roxybisquaint]

I'm feeling more like myself today. I started out kind of down (this incredibly gloomy, chilly day didn't help), but then got hit with a bit of anxiety that actually snapped me out of the funk. I never thought I'd welcome anxiety, but when given the choice between that and the downward stare of despair, I say bring on the excess adrenaline!

Nothing about this has been even remotely what I expected. Being a smoker makes you very familiar with the symptoms of withdrawal because you experience them frequently (for short periods of time). So I naturally assumed that quitting would mean I'd be dealing with what I already know, just on a grander scale. I was wrong. So wrong. Couldn't have been more wrong.

They say what happens when you quit smoking is different for everyone. Well, for me it seems to be all about dealing with my head — the anxiety/depression roller coaster, the loss of a sense of self, and the inability to write or do anything that requires more than three minutes of focus. What about this post? You wrote that. Yeah, but I started it hours ago and have been continually distracted by snow globes and vibrating cell phones.

Six days. No fate.

Comments

[garyinla.livejournal.com]

That's right no fate! Hang in there, Roxy. I'm an ex-smoker also. It was tough to quit, but also the best thing I ever did for myself. It's good to be free of the addition, not to mention the money you save. I generally smoked a pack a day. Sometimes one & a half. Yikes.

[roxybisquaint.livejournal.com]

It's nice to hear from an ex-smoker. I don't know how long it's been since you quit, but congratulations to you for succeeding.

Pack and a half a day at least for me. I've thought about quitting almost daily for years and just kept putting it out of my mind because I couldn't even imagine doing it. I'm glad I finally just went for it without planning it. I don't think it would've worked otherwise. And as hard as this has been, I know I'm not going back.