I actually found out when I first opened my computer today. Before I even checked any websites for news, I saw I had a lot of emails, one of which has the subject line "FUCK". I knew right then.
Yeah, fuck Fox. I know everyone involved in the show is being all "Fox did everything they could" but they have to say that stuff. it's professional courtesy and also, you just don't burn those bridges. We all know better, though.
Before I even checked any websites for news, I saw I had a lot of emails, one of which has the subject line "FUCK". I knew right then.
Oh shit honey, sorry for breaking it to you like that! It was the first thing that sprang to mind. Actually, it was the only thing that sprang to mind. It still is. Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck.
I totally confused my friends saying "Call me, no don't call me, but call me if there's good news, no text me!" and on and on. But I got a text while half asleep from a friend saying not to check my email if I wanted to know the FOX schedule. I called her right away and could just tell by the tone of her voice as she answered the phone what the verdict was - totally sucked. What was more difficult was going to work and pretending everything was fine, and it was until lunch when I read Josh's note and then I was in need of Kleenex. Argh!
Two days later and my emotions are still whacko and all over the place. SCC being cancelled will take me quite a while to get over and I don't apologize for that one bit. If I ever get up the creative gusto again (as you say, all the tension has sucked the creativity out of you) I'll write the five or six SCC fan fics I have in my head.
I'm so much better today after having a very good cry yesterday. My emotions were all out of whack on Monday and I kept stifling it, but yesterday I watched Schmacky's memorial video () and I broke down in tears for a long time. I don't even think I can watch it again. If you haven't seen it, proceed with caution. It's good but very sad and it will absolutely make you cry.
Yeah every ounce of creativity has gone away from me too. I hope it comes back soon. I feel like I'm over the initial hump of devastating loss, but now I'm just kind of blah and uninspired and humorless. I want to do a comical. I want to write fic. I have real work hanging over my head that I'm stalling on. And I haven't exercised in days. I think I'm basically in a depression and what's keeping me from getting too down is interacting with everyone.
I found out literally ten minutes before I had to head to work. That was a fun shift... although, eventually, it did take my mind off it all, mainly thanks to a homeless guy who was a fucking star despite very crappy circumstances and helped me find a little perspective on everything!
If you haven't seen it, proceed with caution. It's good but very sad and it will absolutely make you cry.
It made me cry. Then the end gave me a kick up the pants which was very cool!
I'd been expecting the news since the DH renewal. I just knew instantly that that was the death-knell for us, but still, having it confirmed so starkly and so shittily was a sickener. The show meant so much to so many people and yes, we'd spent a lot of time and effort fighting for it, and the way Fox handled that was just all wrong.
I hope you get your creative mojo back hon, I'm sure you will. I actually want to write something, I just have no idea what! (and after 4 hours sleep, probably shouldn't even be trying.) This show has occupied my thoughts for so long now, I guess my brain isn't switching off of it in a hurry!
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ninetydegrees
no subject
on 2009-05-19 01:33 am (UTC)Seriously, Fox: fuck you.
no subject
on 2009-05-19 02:53 am (UTC)I actually found out when I first opened my computer today. Before I even checked any websites for news, I saw I had a lot of emails, one of which has the subject line "FUCK". I knew right then.
Yeah, fuck Fox. I know everyone involved in the show is being all "Fox did everything they could" but they have to say that stuff. it's professional courtesy and also, you just don't burn those bridges. We all know better, though.
no subject
on 2009-05-19 01:26 pm (UTC)Oh shit honey, sorry for breaking it to you like that! It was the first thing that sprang to mind. Actually, it was the only thing that sprang to mind. It still is. Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck.
I want my fucking show back.
*sobs*.
no subject
on 2009-05-21 05:37 am (UTC)no subject
on 2009-05-21 12:40 pm (UTC)*breathes* that's okay then. Watching it all play out in slow motion... *shakes head* was fucking horrible.
no subject
on 2009-05-20 03:50 pm (UTC)Two days later and my emotions are still whacko and all over the place. SCC being cancelled will take me quite a while to get over and I don't apologize for that one bit. If I ever get up the creative gusto again (as you say, all the tension has sucked the creativity out of you) I'll write the five or six SCC fan fics I have in my head.
no subject
on 2009-05-21 06:00 am (UTC)I'm so much better today after having a very good cry yesterday. My emotions were all out of whack on Monday and I kept stifling it, but yesterday I watched Schmacky's memorial video () and I broke down in tears for a long time. I don't even think I can watch it again. If you haven't seen it, proceed with caution. It's good but very sad and it will absolutely make you cry.
Yeah every ounce of creativity has gone away from me too. I hope it comes back soon. I feel like I'm over the initial hump of devastating loss, but now I'm just kind of blah and uninspired and humorless. I want to do a comical. I want to write fic. I have real work hanging over my head that I'm stalling on. And I haven't exercised in days. I think I'm basically in a depression and what's keeping me from getting too down is interacting with everyone.
no subject
on 2009-05-21 12:51 pm (UTC)It made me cry. Then the end gave me a kick up the pants which was very cool!
I'd been expecting the news since the DH renewal. I just knew instantly that that was the death-knell for us, but still, having it confirmed so starkly and so shittily was a sickener. The show meant so much to so many people and yes, we'd spent a lot of time and effort fighting for it, and the way Fox handled that was just all wrong.
I hope you get your creative mojo back hon, I'm sure you will. I actually want to write something, I just have no idea what! (and after 4 hours sleep, probably shouldn't even be trying.) This show has occupied my thoughts for so long now, I guess my brain isn't switching off of it in a hurry!