roxybisquaint: (santa sarah)
I made... a Sarah Connor Chronicles Christmas tree. Why? Well, I had this metal tree, see. Metal. It's actually a very old tree (40+ years old, I think). It belonged to my grandmother and my mom gave it to me when I first moved away from home. I used it for a few years because it's unique and because it held such fond memories for me, but I've had it boxed up on a shelf in my basement for years now.

After setting up my normal Christmas tree this year, that little old aluminum tree popped into my head for some reason. And since I'm a big freaking dork for TSCC, I naturally put "metal tree" and "Sarah Connor" together (it was a eureka moment in the nerdiest possible way). So I set about making little TSCC-themed ornaments from poster board, construction paper, aluminum foil and various odds and ends around my house.

Merry Christmas TSCC fans!



What you'll find on the tree:

- HK/drone
- savethescc stickers
- bullets & shotgun shells
- a turtle (Sarah's dreams)
- one of Savannah's duckings (Chicky, Fluffy or Feathers, take your pick!)
- shotgun
- Glock
- endo head (based on my pumpkin carving pattern)
- the Turk
- Wizard of Oz book
- nuclear missile (Ok, so it's just a generic GI Joe missile, but you can pretend it's nuclear, right?)
- 2 multi-sided dice (I didn't have a 20-sided die, sadly)
- Cameron's chip (it's one of the flash drives)
- Presidio Alto emblem
- block of C4 w/timer
- drum of radioactive waste from Serrano Point
- queen chess piece
- Andy Goode's Kramnik vs Deep Fritz poster
- the Polaroid of Sarah
- pancakes
- notebook paper w/3 dots
- shard of aluminum from a soda can
- a terminator endoskeleton

I think that's everything.

More pics here >> )
roxybisquaint: (sarah john tough crowd)
I don't know if any non-LJers ever wish they could comment here without the hassle of setting up an account, but now they can. I was just reviewing all my settings (I don't think I'd revisited those since day one) and changed it so unregistered people can comment on my public posts. They won't appear instantly, though; I have to approve them first. So any lurkers out there feel free to comment from now on.
roxybisquaint: (sarah shock therapy)
I'm feeling more like myself today. I started out kind of down (this incredibly gloomy, chilly day didn't help), but then got hit with a bit of anxiety that actually snapped me out of the funk. I never thought I'd welcome anxiety, but when given the choice between that and the downward stare of despair, I say bring on the excess adrenaline!

Nothing about this has been even remotely what I expected. Being a smoker makes you very familiar with the symptoms of withdrawal because you experience them frequently (for short periods of time). So I naturally assumed that quitting would mean I'd be dealing with what I already know, just on a grander scale. I was wrong. So wrong. Couldn't have been more wrong.

They say what happens when you quit smoking is different for everyone. Well, for me it seems to be all about dealing with my head — the anxiety/depression roller coaster, the loss of a sense of self, and the inability to write or do anything that requires more than three minutes of focus. What about this post? You wrote that. Yeah, but I started it hours ago and have been continually distracted by snow globes and vibrating cell phones.

Six days. No fate.
roxybisquaint: (sarah sad)
No anxiety today. Instead, I cried uncontrollably for about two hours. Oh yay. I wasn't upset or sad; I just cried for absolutely no reason. I really don't understand what's happening to me. And I think I'm becoming a total head case.

Physically, I still feel awful. My nose is stuffed up, food tastes terrible, I have massive sinus pressure and a headache (and I keep getting a migraine in addition to the regular headache), my stomach is acidic and my muscles are tense. I look terrible too. I swear I've aged about 10 years in the past few days.

How many more days until it gets better?
roxybisquaint: (sarah expletive)
Okay that might be a bit of an exaggeration in hindsight, but it's how I felt yesterday. I didn't expect the euphoria I'd experienced after 24 hours or so of not smoking to continue, but I was completely unprepared for the downturn that followed to be as brutal as it was. That was fucking rough. I still didn't smoke, though. go me

The e-cig seems to be a good enough nicotine delivery system to keep me from having strong cravings and to keep me from reaching for a real cigarette. It's damn impressive. Certainly better than the Nicorette lozenges I've tried before. The bad day I had yesterday wasn't because I was jonesing for a cigarette, it was mainly from dealing with anxiety. That's been an issue every day so far, but yesterday was the worst and for a few hours there, I didn't think I'd make it. I'm hoping this is a temporary thing while my brain chemistry rearranges itself. Since I've had anxiety problems all my life, I have no reason to believe it'll be substantially better or worse from quitting smoking. So I think it's just the adjustment period that's difficult.

I've been drinking LOTS of water (I've never peed so much in my life!). Partly it's to help the detox by flushing out my system and partly it's just to stay hydrated. I'd read that these e-cigs dry you out. Yeah, that's an understatement. For about two days, my mouth and throat were very dry despite the water guzzling. That's gotten better, but now my skin feels incredibly dry. So dry, in fact, that my thermal face wash burned my skin yesterday. Everything was fine until I went to put moisturizer on afterwards. AAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!!! My whole face started stinging and I had this big pink patch on my cheek. Weird. I hope that's temporary.

Today was a much better day and I'm hoping for more. I don't ever want to smoke again; I'm finished with that life.

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Roxy Bisquaint

March 2011

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